For starters, my main character who generally doesn't care one whit about clothing is describing them far more than he ought to. Not to mention scene descriptions. Ok, yes it's a very good thing to describe where your characters are. I just happen to suck at it and it always sounds out of place and word-paddy.
Then of course there's the times where I repeat myself. Just how many times do you need to tell us that people worrying about you are overreacting Josh? And I get it, your weapon sucks. Quit telling me!
And then there's my favorite. The slightly snarky Captain Obvious moments and really messed up character dialogue.
The woman handed the baby to her husband, then fetched a tea set from the other room. The tea was already hot and she poured us each a cup, well not the baby. The baby didn’t get a cup because it was a baby.
Oh really? The baby didn't want any? Never would have guessed that. ¬_¬
“How can you throw a child?” I exclaimed in horror.
“It’s easy,” he said. “They’re light.”
Actually, I really love this one. But it's so freaking messed up! XD
And don't worry, those two examples are chapters apart. You know, pretending I used chapters. No one threw that baby, it was a different kid.
No comments:
Post a Comment